It’s not something I talk about a lot (well, except for here) but I do love Starbucks. I know they’re giant, evil and bad and the coffee isn’t all that good, but like Google, they started out as something good, and I still think their heart is mostly in the right place. Getting a coffee at Starbucks makes me feel slightly guilty and wasteful and bad. But it also makes me feel good and loved and yummy inside. And ultimately, it feels more good than bad.

And thus, in discussing Starbucks, we have now come down to how I define a relationship worth having. I have discovered (gasp!) that relationships are hard. Marriage is particularly hard. Harder than you think, harder than you remember. So hard that you’re like “what the hell? How did this get so hard? Why doesn’t he do anything right (aka, my way)?”

But, my yardstick for marriage is that as long as the good outweighs the bad, it’s a good relationship. So even though we fought on Saturday morning because my husband can be a pig-headed goat with no idea how to partner a fabulous person like myself (and, to be fair, on very rare occasions, I can be an emotional octopus of anger, fear, exhaustion and frustration), we had a great weekend, and that’s despite a toddler and a teenager (and our currently angelic-by-comparison tween) acting out.

When we started dating, it blew my mind and I really thought I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to date him, because I knew that it was unlikely to work out (divorced guy, 2 kids, what??!!) and that I was risking our friendship. So it was a big decision, on my part, to date him.

My husband and I became friends over 25 years ago. We started dating eight years ago (of course, I ultimately decided it was worth the risk) and now we’ve been married for almost five. Not so long in the giant scheme of things, but a lot has happened. I love him. I’m very lucky and my life is completely different than it was eight years ago.

So I wish you all a Starbucks Gold card and way-more-good-feelings-than-bad-feelings marriage and hopefully, like us, 2010 is brining you a big sigh of relief and good news. What a long, wonderful, difficult year it’s been. It ain’t easy, living in our world of war, conflict, greed, confusion, ambivilance and imbalance, but it sure beats the alternative.

On August 21, James Cameron (with a little help from Fox marketing and distribution) presented “Avatar Day” at 340 3D IMAX and 3D cinemas worldwide, showing 15 minutes of select footage from his highly anticipated new film “Avatar.” Tickets were given away free through an online lottery and quickly sold out (though some reports say early screenings were half-full). The film’s trailer debuted the previous day, with a record-shattering 4 million streams on Apple in one day. Reviews of the trailer were all over the map, and while online buzz-makers are still debating if “Avatar Day” was truly a hit, it was definitely one of the biggest, and boldest, 3D marketing stunts ever. It also demonstrates just how much studios are investing in 3D. “Avatar Day” was as much about pushing theaters into converting to 3D screening systems as much as it was about hyping the movie. Does any of this mean that 3D has finally “arrived”? Again? Read More (scroll down the page a bit)

So, as a feminist and a scholar (which I’m really not, but it’s fun to say), I’ve never been a big believer in Valentine’s Day. Until I “re-met” my husband, I really did not believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day at all, being that I was not a big into the whole swept-off-your-feet thing. One poor super nice, boyfriend in mypast gave me flowers with an apology on the card for ruining my “I don’t believe in this holiday’ Valentine’s Day mantra. I’m sorry to him for being a jerk.

The point being is that I just never had enjoyed the holiday and had always had bad experiences with the whole thing. Except for one really low-key, but spectacularly memorable Valentine’s Day date in college that involved trying to boil water for pasta on an uncooperative hotplate, the absolute perfect combination of silly & sexy and a midnight work shift at USC Post Production. It just so happened, that date was with the college-best-friend-who-you-happen-to-date-for-a while and then stop dating and just stay friends with but ultimately 16-years later will decide to date again and end up married.

Yes, I dated my husband, Richard, in college, but then we stopped dating and remained friends. He went off, got married and had two kids. I was a fabulous mostly single, but happily dating, woman with an eclectic career path and two dogs.

After his divorce, we started hanging out as friends. Some UCLA tickets and three gin and tonics later (and well before 30 Rock, I might add) our first official date in 2002 was on Valentine’s Day. Long story short, Valentine’s Day 2002 was one the greatest dates of my life and now must be one of the 5 official Rich & Susan anniversaries we recognize. And btw, eight of my all-time top 10 dates were with my husband, Rich.

But I digress.

The point being, I now have to officially recognize the holiday and we have to celebrate it. I really did not believe in the knock-your-socks-off kind of love. I was more a friendship,funny, attraction, spark is good too, kind of girl. Certainly when Rich and I dated in college, we were already friends and that fun spark attraction was exactly what we had. But when we dated as adults (because we certainly were not adults in college, thank you very much), I was completely knocked down, punch drunk, crazy for him in a way I had never experienced before. He literally took my breath away. Consistently. Still does. But marriage, daily chores and kids make it hard to keep the magic front and center. So we know that it’s important to take care of our romantic life. Here is our keep the magic recipe. Three ingredients:

1) Make each other laugh. Keep it silly. This gets difficult because life is serious and sometimes, seriously a bummer. And it’s hard to remember that very little of the stresses of our life really, truly matter. Our kids are healthy, we’re healthy. We should be laughing and dancing every day.

2)Date night. We can’t do it every week, but we are pretty good about getting it in consistently (usually every 2 weeks)

3) Adventure (or at least romantic getaways)

Obviously, we have a baby in the house. We have not really been able to have a romantic getaway in the last year & a half. But we knew it was time to start planning. So we had pegged Valentine’s Day weekend as the target.

We didn’t have a plan, but we did have a date. And it just happened to be the weekend of our anniversary – Valentine’s Day. No pressure there for the first time away. Yeah, right.

It is about a ragtag band of recovering addicts who pull small-time bus robberies (inspired by old-fashioned stagecoach robberies) in the Southwest to support their sobriety. On their last job, something goes terribly wrong and they end up hijacking the bus – and all it’s passengers — and heading to Mexico. It involves $600,000 in an unmarked satchel, a kidnapped boy, the mob, a beautiful detective, fathers and sons, unique characters, the odd and stark backdrop of the desolate Southwest, a shootout at an Emu farm and a lead character with, yes, nine fingers and an old soul.

I love all my stuff, but Nine Fingered Eddie has always been one of my favorites. My writing tends to be subtle, quirky (the death knell in Hollywood) and just a bit dark. Some call it dramady, I call it “Light Tragedy” – because that’s pretty much what I call life. As in, my life, your life, his life, her life. Everyone’s life is, ultimately, a tragedy, in the classic sense of the genre. And yet, there is a lot of humor and odd adventure to be had along the way.

Nine Fingered Eddie also became alot about fathers and sons and the damage they do and attempts at redemption. It’s very Cohen Bros. meets John Sayles. Perhaps a less commercial bastard could not be sired, particularly if you are not either a Cohen Bros. or a John Sayles (of which, just in case, you are wondering, I am not). But here’s what happened. I finished the draft and then 9/11 happened. And among many, many more important realizations came the one that an odd script about hijacking a bus became simply untenable. So it went away.

But time heals or changes things. And as I slowly reach for creative balance in my life, I’ve gone back to writing – just a little – god forbid there is more than 5 minutes a day for it because now I’ve got a fun, but demanding, consulting business and a houseful of boys, one of which is my super-fabulous if sometimes, fatalistic husband.

The point is, I decided to dust off the old Nine Fingered Eddie script and at least give it some sense of closure. So I decided to submit it for the Netflix “Find Your Voice competition.

And, of course, I decided this with like a week left to the deadline. So I rewrote the script, created a budget, wrote a synopsis and got a few crew on board and submitted it. I’m glad I did. It was pretty much an excuse to really look hard at the project. I don’t really expect to win or even make the finals, although I would be obviously thrilled if I did.

But in looking back at my submission, I hate the description I wrote for Nine Fingered Eddie. I called him a “man-child” in my synopsis which I meant to change before submitting, but then forgot. While he is a man-child, that is 1) something that should never show up in a synopsis and, really, 2) is true pretty much of all men and certainly all men in scripts.

The script was originally written with Johnny Depp in mind (I had a friend who had worked with him. At the time, it was at least conceivable you could get an indie script to Depp). But this was before Pirates of the Caribbean, which pretty much turned Johnny Depp into a superhero, Captain Jack Sparrow and an actor who pretty much wants to do a movie only as long as he can paint his face, his teeth, his nails, tease his hair and talk funny. I wanted the somber, funny but only because he’s super-serious and sad, wiser than others, but patient with fools, Johnny Depp. Because that is the character of Nine Fingered Eddie – doing the best with what he has, which is not much.

Anyway, I just felt good to give the script – and the film in my head – at least some closure. Go back to it and discover, as I did, just how much movies have changed and the world has changed. I’m not sure anyone makes movies like Nine Fingered Eddie anymore (well, give or take the Cohen Bros. and they only do it, if they can pretty much kill everyone with great abandon and completely pretty much have no third act).

So what did I change? I didn’t have ANY time, so it was basic changes, softening the hijacking a bit, had to get rid of a LOT of cellphones. And I added in Homeland Security, but I tried to play them as a joke, as they come with their own reality show camera crew and they’re high-tech, but pretty much worthless “in the field.”

Because I did it fast, it was both good for me, but also, I didn’t go far enough. Nine Fingered Eddie needs another pass. So now I have to find another forced deadline. Because I need those deadlines. Those outside influences. Also, back in the day, I had my Writer’s Group. And now, we all have kids and busy lives and some of us are writing and most of us are not writing (well at least not enough), but it was such a special group, that I know another writer’s group will pale in comparison.

So for now, I go it alone. A little writing here. A little writing there. I made a decision about 12 years ago, that I was pursuing my creative projects for myself, not to “launch” my career. That I would never NEED anyone to make my films, my theater, my writing except me. Anything that happens beyond that is bonus. Icing. It makes for smaller projects, but a happier life.

I had a career. I’ve had several in fact. And even though it’s difficult for others to understand (and sometimes I weary of the confusion of others), I like the eclectic nature of my resume. I’m most comfortable as the multi-tasker, the multi-media Jill of all trades. Which, I’ve learned, mostly makes me a producer. But it also makes me a writer, a director, a creative strategy consultant, a marketer, a filmmaker, a creative director. In short, I’m a mashup. A Media Mama Mashup. And though it’s difficult because my path is confused and winding, it actually has become easier because of the internet & mobile. Perhaps it’s that new media, with it’s multi-linear storylines has made being ADD & loving it that much easier. I have several plates spinning. I like working on iPhone games one week and a non-fiction book proposal the next. I think they inform each other and my life certainly keeps me on my toes. But it does make it difficult to categorize me. A light tragedy, I suppose.

But man, no one will give them a break. Since we can discuss every minutia of every company ALL THE TIME through blogs & instant news, apparently, we think we should. That kind of corporate celebrity stalking only puts them in a pressure cooker that will, ultimately, in combination with Wall Street Greed, kill them. It seems now that Yahoo is on the ropes, the spotlight turns to Google.

So, I will too and with no authority whatsoever say my piece: Google is fine. Leave them alone for a moment. Let them run their business. Sometimes they will make a little money. Sometimes they will make a lot of money. Sometimes they will make the coolest thing ever. Sometimes, they won’t.

Gord Hotchkiss at MediaPost says Google will be a winner despite the fact that everyone is talking about all the Google cutbacks. But it’s okay to be cutting back, get this, even if you’re making money. In fact, it’s probably smart. I don’t think Google can really evolve back to it’s core, because it has become so much more than that. But it can act smartly, efficiently in a down economy, because it should be doing so. We all should be doing so. Because we’re fine. Google is fine. Shut up already.

Now on to Yahoo. Poor Yahoo. I have worked with Yahoos and I have loved Yahoo. I do think Yahoo has made some missteps in the last few years, but I do not think one of them was selling out to Microsoft. I think it’s okay to think the world is not just about money and that there is room for Yahoo. But Wall Street would just not leave it alone. I’m a stockholder and was not holding on to Yahoo as a short-term investment, but a long-term one. I still am.

And I personally don’t like Microsoft that much and I believe in competition and diversity and like having Yahoo exist. I still think that stocks are something you hold on to for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years and beyond. I’m excited about Carol Bartz taking over as CEO and now it’s time to give her 100 days or 4 years or enough time to turn a big company around. Because these things take time.

Everyone seems to be acting like the game will be over this year. Because of the panic of the economy and the media and this past administration’s rule by fear-mongering. What I loved about Obama’s speech was it was the speech of an adult. It was basically saying, “Let’s all go home and clean up our rooms” and “stop being greedy, fearful piglets.” Okay, he didn’t obviously say either of those, but it’s the spirit of his message.

He actually did say, “On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.” So now it’s time to stop the discord. Yes, Yahoo is in trouble (what company isn’t) but I say, “Back off. Let Yahoo have a moment to figure it out and figure out what to do and implement that.” Don’t be greedy for instant gratification. That’s what our nation has become. A nation of little toddlers who can’t wait for anything. And it’s killing us. And bringing us down.

Change takes time. Obama said it. I say it. And it’s true. So let Yahoo have time to figure out what they’re going to do. The internet isn’t going anywhere, no one else is going all that well at this point either. So to all those screaming at Yahoo that they’re in trouble, I’m saying, “Hey Pot, you’re black.” Now, onto Apple.

I love Apple. I have loved Macs from the moment I discovered them around 1986-ish. We currently have 5 macs in our house and 5 ipods (including to iPod Touches). And I truly love my iPhone in ways that are changing my life. And there is no question that Steve Jobs is having a hard time and clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Apple is now facing an SEC review about if they withheld disclosure about Job’s health.

But again, I’m tired of the panic and unrealistic expectations. Apple stock is up today because it’s earnings were up. But guess what, Steve Jobs is still sick. And while he didn’t say anything about his recent health issues probably to protect his company’s stock, he probably also did it to protect himself. Perhaps he was still figuring it out. Perhaps it’s difficult to face a health crisis that involves a liver-transplant due to complications from pancreatic cancer.

Yes, Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2004. So it should not be a huge surprise to find out that his health may never be 100 percent. And yet, people are acting all bent out of shape because he’s been holding his cards close to his vest. “He didn’t tell us he was sick. How dare he!” Get over it, already. Let it be.

We are so obsessed with stalking a corporate celebrity claiming it’s because of how it affects the stock price, but clearly something’s also wrong with us. It’s a man’s health. He wants to be healthy. He wants to figure out how to deal with this and he doesn’t get to because he is a public figure, a CEO who is also a corporate celebrity. Really. He can’t take a moment to pretend maybe it’s just hormones and he doesn’t need major life-changing surgery. That’s so weird, because that’s what I would do if faced with those health issues. But Jobs is better than a normal person and must be held to a higher standard. Because he’s rich and a genius. (Apparently no one remembers Jobs in 2007 selling the first iPhones at $599 and then dropping the price $200 and super-pissing off all the loyal early adopters. Doesn’t sound like a genius to me, sounds like a guy who got a little greedy, quickly fixed it, made a mistake while trying to fix it and had to apologize for it) It just all becomes wasteful noise.

If you’re concerned about the stock, sell. If you’re not, buy. If you don’t want to figure it out or don’t have the money, stay out of the stock market. The stock market is speculative. Smart people call it gambling.

The amount and fever of the speculation is exhausting and disgusting. I’m done. I hope Steve Jobs is going to be okay. I wish him well and a speedy recovery. I don’t know him, but I like his company. If he has to step down as CEO, then someone will take his place. Apple will have to deal with that. He is not a god.

No man is an island, but no one man (or woman, thank you very much) can solve everything. We keep looking for someone to blame, someone to crown King, someone to be our perfect parent. And somehow, when those people fail us, when companies are not perfect, when their leaders who’ve been so smart before make a mistake, we burn them. We vilify them, we throw them to the wolves. What’s going on here?

And it doesn’t have to be a company CEO. I personally hope this doesn’t happen with President Obama, although it is inevitable. He will do a great job with most things (and god knows, comparatively, how could he not do better than Bush?) But then he’ll make one mistake, one very human error and he will be crucified.

We are turning into a people with obsessive, compulsive disorder personality. Not the kind where you have to wash your hands all the time and count sidewalk squares. But the kind who obsesses over every detail, looks to buy happiness with things and can only see the world as black and white, good and evil. People are good AND bad – sometimes, and often, at the same time. So are companies and corporations (particularly the bigger they get). So I say, get over it. I like Apple, Google and Yahoo. If it was something I did, I’d be buying their stock right now. But like the rest of us, they’re in transition so I’ll just wait and see. And I’ll give them a little room to roam. Meanwhile, as CEO of my life, I’m going to go clean my room.